A Message to Consumers from MERD Pharmaceuticals The quest to help people is not one with hard-and-fast rules. Often, the right course of action can seem cloudy and indistinct, and one must rely on one's best instincts to make the right decision. Sometimes, of course, innocent mistakes are made. The past 12 months have constituted a year of many grand triumphs here at MERD Pharmaceuticals; triumphs that have bettered man's condition in ways that can scarce be measured. And yet, it has also been a year of a few "tragedies" that have in no way affected MERD's overall mission, goals, or financial solvency. We at MERD are sorry for these misunderstandings, and we want you to know that we take the input of all our clients, constituents, and customers with the utmost seriousness. That is why we are directly answering the issues brought up by the incidents that have occurred as of late. Many of these are trivial to the point of being able to be dismissed out of hand; charges such as "slave-like conditions," "criminal inattention to hygiene," and lurid descriptions of "frothy, smoldering sinkholes" smack of incredible bias and sensationalism, and as such deserve no further attention. We are confident that the already grossly mismanaged task forces investigating these dubious claims at any of our state-of-the-art research facilities will find nothing but the finest working and production facilities Micronesia has to offer. Furthermore, recent inquiries regarding certain side effects of some of our most-loved and popular products, including PanexaTM(Acidachrome Promanganate), should only be given the attention and respect one would grant to any group of thousands of overly sensitive hypochondriacs who seem incapable of following the simplest of directions. How the members of this putative "class-action suit" ever even managed to open the bottles in question remains a continual source of amazement to our legal department. One must always be wary of those seeking to profit from those who have grown successful by doing great works for the betterment of mankind. Our Lord himself once faced similar charges, and died on the Cross as a result. Like Him, we at MERD work solely in the interests of mankind and the health of all peoples of all nations. The petty, avaristic claims and charges leveled at the healers who toil for the good of humanity can only be viewed as motivated and driven from that other, opposed source of power, one that need not be mentioned here. MERD is a proud organization and will continue to provide the top-notch goods and services that the peoples of mother earth have come to expect, need, and cherish. We are defiant in the face of these petty accusations, and have no doubt that we will, as always, emerge victorious. Marcus T. Lomax CEO, MERD Pharmaceuticals